running
by BeyondMyReach
Summary: Ash doesn't know how to explain his greatest fear is Eiji getting hurt, but the moments he reminiscences the most is when they are on the run with the entire world at their tail. [In which Ash follows Eiji to Japan and it's like a dream come true, for most parts.]


Inspired by Lena on tumblr and her wonderful BF art, as part of the Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang. Also kindly betaed by Lena.

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"Hey, focus here," Ash says, flicking Eiji's forehead over the table. Eiji yelps and jerks backwards in his seat where he is staring outside the window, limbs flailing as his chair tips backwards. Ash snags Eiji's flailing arm and tugs him forward until the front legs of his chair touches the floor again. "How are you still so clumsy?" Ash asks, amused.

Eiji huffs and crosses his arms, looking away with his lips pressed dangerously close to a pout. "You just surprised me," he says, and a pair of girls walking by their table giggles as they pass.

Eiji's face warms when he realizes they have caught him acting like a child, and smiles sheepishly. "Hello," he greets, and the younger one startles.

"Hello, Eiji-senpai," the taller one chourses back and gives Ash a small wave. The younger one hurriedly follows suit, and as they walk away, Ash hears the taller girl telling her friend that that is Eiji-senpai - he used to pole-vault - and the shorter one saying something about how he helps her once when she was lost before they disappear around the corner.

"Well, aren't you Mr. Popular?" Ash teases when they are out of sight, only to find Eiji's attention drifting back to the window again. Ash glances out just in time to catch sight of a boy maybe a year younger than Eiji sail over the crossbar outside on the track field and land on the mat on the other side. A whistle sounds and the boy hops off the mat as the next person lines up a few paces away from the crossbar with a pole in hand.

Eiji pulls his gaze away from the pole vaulting practice to face Ash. "I'm not popular at all," he laughs a few seconds late, rubbing the back of his head. "Some people recognize me back when I participated in a few minor pole vaulting competitions, that's all."

"The younger girl from before said you helped her when she was lost," Ash says, and Eiji blinks, looking in the direction where the girls have gone.

"I did?" he says. "I might have, I'm not sure."

"Well, maybe she remembers you wrong," Ash says, because that is Eiji through and through, the effortless and thoughtless way he helps others. "I don't know," he teases, "you do look like the hundreds of other average-height, black-haired Japanese male in the school."

"What - ?!" Eiji exclaimes, outraged. "Just because you're a foreigner and you stick out with your stupid blonde hair and American accent!"

"An accent?!" Ash mock gasps, pulling Eiji into a headlock from across the table. Laughter spills from Eiji, loud and uninhibited like a bird taking flight. "See if I'll help you study for your physics exam after this."

There is a rapping sound, follows by an "Erm-hmm." Ash and Eiji look up to see Seika the elderly librarian standing a few feet away with a hand against a bookshelf and another against her hips.

Ash immediately releases Eiji, and both of them stand up straight at attention.

"Boys, what did I say about rowdiness?" she asks.

"Don't," Eiji mutters under his breath, chastised. His head drops, and at that, Ash steps forward until he is in front of Eiji, blocking him from Seika's view. A wide and open smile splits across Ash's face, fake and as natural as breathing, only to freeze as her hawk-like gaze falls onto him.

"Ash," she says warningly, and he wonders briefly if this is what having a mother at a young age would feel like.

Ash raises his arms up in the air, palms facing her in a familiar gesture of surrender. "I just want to say I'm sorry, Seika-san. We do not mean to cause a disturbance and we promise it won't happen again," he says, knowing that is exactly what they promised last time too, but his words produces the desired effect. Seika's shoulders drops an inch and a half-aggrieved, half-amuses smile spread across her face.

"That's what you said last time," she says, shaking her head with exasperated fondness. "Why are you boys like this?"

"Did you enjoy the book I recommended you for finance last week?" he asks, slowly bringing his arms back to his side, and at that, her smile blooms fully to that of happiness.

"Yes, very much," she says, brightening like a flower under the sun as their conversation enters the realm of her interest and expertise. "It's very informative and I'm going to place an order for a copy for the library."

"It's in English, no one is going to be able to read it," Eiji mutters under his breath from behind Ash.

"So you mean you can't read it," Ash teases, turning around. Eiji is beginning to have that look on his face like he is getting tired of Ash's teasing and may just explode on him.

"I'll be going back to the front desk now," Seika interrupts before Eiji can do so. Her eyes fall sternly onto Ash and Eiji. "I'm going to finish my book and I'm not going to hear a peep from either of you for the rest of the day, understood?"

Eiji smiles. "Yup! Have a great read, Seika-san!"

"Thank you, Eiji," Seika replies with a soft smile. "Good luck with your studies as well."

_And Eiji effortlessly charms Seika-san once again, _Ash thinks, amused.

"She should have wished me luck for tutoring you instead," Ash teases once Seika is out of hearing range. Eiji opens his mouth to protest, only to falter at the sight of Seika's retreating back.

Eiji pouts, flopping into his chair instead. "Physics is hard. It's not fair that you have a better understanding of it than me when you still don't completely have a hang of Japanese and can't read some parts of the textbook!" Eiji complains.

Ash laughs, unbidden. "Come on, let's get you to at least pass this exam tomorrow."

As Ash teach Eiji physics and projectiles, he remembers: the wind whistling through a broken window of an abandoned building, his target a distance away, the weight of a sniping rifle in his hand, and his bated breath as his bullet found home in the target's head along the gentle stream of the wind.

It would be a lie to say he doesn't miss that life, sometimes.

xxx

Ash is drowning.

"Ash, Ash!" someone exclaims, and Ash surfaces with a gasp, his arm whipping through the air in the direction of the voice as the other dives under his pillow, closing around an unregistered gun that he raises barely a second later.

Eiji looks at him from his bed a few feet away, face and body lined with concern, but his eyes awfully clear.

They contain no fear at all, only worry, only concern for Ash, and perhaps that makes it better, makes it worse.

"Bad dream?" Eiji asks softly, breaking the silence, and slowly, Ash nods, a shuddering breath releasing from him.

Eiji stands, his steps soft against the carpets ground as he goes to him, and Ash drops the hand holding the gun. When Eiji envelops him, Ash goes, collapsing into his arms like an accursed man in the middle of the desert who has found salvation.

The gun clatters mutely against the floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eiji offers, as he has every single time without fail, and Ash shakes his head against his chest, because this is his burden to bear, his sin.

"I'm not sure if the image of me pointing a gun at you is going to leave my mind any time soon," Ash admits, because that has always been his greatest fear, that he will hurt Eiji and that he won't be able to protect him.

He is drenched in sweat, his body is shaking, but he can't help but remember how steady his hand the entire time he is pointing the gun at Eiji.

"It's not loaded, Ash," Eiji says. "You and I both know it's not loaded. You only have it so on nights like these, you'll feel a bit safer. I have the loaded one in my drawer, remember?"

"Yeah, and you still don't know how to use it," Ash jokes, trying to reestablish their casual rhythm.

"I won't have to, and neither do you," Eiji says, with absolute faith in Japan's safety and its low crime rate. His heartbeat pulses steadily against Ash's ear.

"Yeah, you're right," Ash says quietly, and doesn't know how to explain his greatest fear is Eiji getting hurt, but the moments he reminiscences the most is when they are on the run with the entire world at their tail.

Xxx

"Hey Ash," Eiji says, as they are leaving the university for the day. "You want to eat outside for today and then when it's dark out, go somewhere with me?"

Eiji is smiling softly, though it edges closer to a grin with his palpable excitement. He rocks on his heels, just barely able to contain himself and refrain from grinning too proudly.

"Yeah, sure," Ash says, and doesn't say,_ 'I've followed you to Japan, I'd follow you anywhere,' _because they both know that already. Eiji's smile splits into a grin, and Ash knows that whatever it is he blindly promises to follow Eiji into, he'd have no regrets. "Does it have something to do with whatever you've been doing when you sneak off campus between some of your classes these past few days?"

Eiji yelps, nearly tripping over himself in his surprise. "W-what? I haven't been sneaking out during my breaks that are also during your classes."

"I went to look for you at your usual spot when my class ended early," Ash sing-songs, crossing his arms behind his head as he walks by EIji, who has stopped in his tracks. "Your friends told me you let slip you are going off campus for something."

"They doesn't tell you for what, right?" Eiji asks, running up to Ash until he stops right in front of him. Eiji looks so concerns that Ash can't help but smile.

"No, they didn't say and I didn't push," Ash says. "I figured you'd tell me when you feel the time is right."

"Great, it's a surprise!" Eiji exclaimes. "Come on, come on!" He grabs Ash's hand, tugging him forward. "Let's go eat and then we can watch the sunset as we head there!"

And with a laugh, Ash follows.

Xxx

They eat at a local burger place, and then come sunset, drenching their entire world in an orange-red, so warm Ash can almost feel the color against his skin.

Eiji's arm brushing against him as they walk along the river bank side-by-side helps.

When the last of the sun falls below the horizon for the day, Ash turns to Eiji. "Ready to show me what you have been sneaking off for the past week?" he asks, and Eiji smiles, though it is edged a little with nervousness now.

"Ahhh, I wish you didn't find out about it now," Eiji says, as he leads them back the way they have come from, towards the bridge. Ash figured it is somewhere around there, since Eiji kept glancing at the area under the bridge when they walked by before. Ash saw a lump of something under a cloth there, though of what, Ash wasn't able to determine. "I'm not sure if it's a very good surprise now."

"Well, I guess I'll find out then," Ash teases, even though he knows whatever it is that Eiji decided to do for him, it would be enough. The thought of him spending time to prepare something for him even though there is no special occasion is enough.

Eiji is oblivious, but surprisingly perceptive when it comes to Ash's emotional well-being. He must have senss Ash is off this week and wanted to cheer him up.

"Close your eyes," Eiji says when they are close to the bridge. He checks to see whether Ash is covering his eyes with his hands, and then Ash hears him racing ahead, his voice getting softer and softer. "No peeking!"

"Okay!" Ash shouts back, amused, and keeps his hands over his eyes until he hears a match being lit. Ash parts his fingers to take a peek through the gaps and to make sure everything is alright, and then the sight of a rope burning down and the flame racing towards what looks like a container of gunpowder has Ash shouting, "Eiji!" as he tackles them out of the way.

The last thing Ash registers is Eiji's expression, eyes and mouth parts in surprise, and then they hit the grass. Ash throws himself over Eiji, just before a _boom _sounds, followed by a brilliant light bursting in the corner of his eye.

"Ash, Ash," Eiji says, expression a little bewildered but not frightened in the least. Ash realizes the burst of heat he expects at his back following the detonation of an explosion never came. "I'm sorry I surprised you, I should have given you a warning, but look." He smiles a little, lips crooks sheepishly as he gestures behind him, and slowly, Ash turns.

Lines of tubes are stuck in the ground, each spaced a few feet apart, lining the river bank. Ash sees the flame he has spotted a moment ago still moving, snaking to the next tube and as it passes, there is a small _boom _as explosive exits the tub and bursts into color a few feet high into the air.

It is small, not the most spectacular that Ash has seen, especially with the States' tendency for fireworks during New Year and July 4th, but they are close to it, there is no building to obstruct their view, and the light seems especially brilliant with Eiji by his side, even as it is slowly swallowed back by the dark sky.

As Ash thinks this, the flame sneaks along the rope to the next tube and a brilliant red flares into existence against the sky, reflecting on the river below like hundreds of stars. Ash slowly sits up and Eiji follows suit.

The next burst of light is from the tube closest to them and bring light ashes raining upon them in the aftermath like a benediction. The smell of explosive whispers into the air, similar to the gunpowder smell that Ash is used to during a shootout, and yet just different enough for Ash to not mistaken them.

Ash has been here in Japan for over a year. He won't have to go back to his old life, and in a way, that is a blessing as much as something he'd miss.

"You seems a little down recently," Eiji speaks, as another burst of light flares to life over their heads. "It reminds me a little of when I just got injured and can't pole vault competitively anymore."

"Eiji…" Ash says, surprised. It hits a lot closer to home than Ash has expected.

"I missed pole vaulting, but you saved me from it, Ash," Eiji continues. "For a while afterward, I missed missing pole vaulting though." Eiji looks at Ash as light blooms overhead once again, illuminating a side of Eiji's face in a flash of blue. It's like he is glowing. "I don't know if it is true for you, but it is easy for me to keep on missing pole vaulting, because pole vaulting had been a part of my life for so long. You saved me from missing pole vaulting, and then you saved me from reminiscing about those days when I can just wallow about missing pole vaulting."

"You think I miss my life in the States," Ash says, and for a second, doubt flickers across Eiji's face. The firework above burst into color, staining both of them in red. "Because I think you're right, Eiji. I think you're right."

Ash takes a breath. "For the longest time, all I wanted was to escape Dino and the life he had envisioned for me. The criminal empire, the money, the power, I didn't want any of that, it wasn't what I wanted for myself. But the gang - Bone, Alex, Shorter - they are mine. They have chosen me and they are the people I've picked for myself to associate with. I was used to them, and I was used to the violence that I've learned to associate with them, because…"

"Because that's how you had to live. That's how all of you know how to live," Eiji says softly, and it hurt Ash to hear Eiji hurting for them, but it also soothes him. That has always been his silver lining, the knowledge that Eiji cares.

"Because that's how we lived, yeah, and it's a strange concept for me to not have to look over my shoulder anymore when I've been doing so for such a huge part of my life." Ash meets Eiji's eyes. "I love living in Japan, Eiji," Ash says, "I love living here with you. I admit, it took me a while to believe Japan and all its promises are real: living a normal life, safety, peace, you. It's everything I've imagined and in a way, it's a lot to take in, having your dream come true."

"There's some parts you don't like or isn't used to?" Eiji asks.

"I can't bring myself to believe Japan's peace. It's hard to believe I can live without packing a gun when I can't go anywhere without it in the States. Once it settles in that I can walk around freely and no one would grab me off the street, I… in a way, I miss it," Ash says. "I know what to do to handle the danger and violence of the States. It's easy to fall back and to live as I always had, but harder to adjust to a completely different lifestyle and actually live and believe it, even though that should have been easy."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Eiji asks softly, and for a second, the world is quiet. The moon is shining down on them, making Eiji seem like what he has always - in a way, even now - feel like to Ash.

Like he is a miracle, a dream too good to have come true.

"Stay with me, please," Ash says, as thousands of falling light flicker into existence like shooting stars against the sky. "Stay with me, and I'll try to look forward towards a future - the present - where the safety and peace and you are attainable and within reach. Stay with me, and I'll eventually stop looking over my shoulder and actually believe."

_Every moment you're with me is a wonder _, Ash thinks, and Eiji smiles like he has heard.

"Of course," Eiji says, taking Ash's hands into his. "Forever."

Just then, there is a shout. Ash whips his head in the direction of the disturbance to the sight of flickering red and blue light breaking into the dark night.

"Hey, you're not supposed to release fireworks here!" a man standing near the police car shouts. "What's your names? Get up here!"

Ash slowly turns to look at Eiji. "Eiji, did you happen to check whether you're allowed to release fireworks here?"

"Uhh, the old man at the firework store said it'll be good if I set it here. Said it's safe, there's a nice view, and I can get a head start… oh," Eiji says.

The policeman is heading down the slope towards them now, huffing something about kids these days. No one else seems to be in the patrol car.

Ash's and Eiji's eyes meet at the same time.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Eiji asks, a grin spitting across his face.

"The flame is heading towards the next and final firework," Ash comments, and their hands tightens against each other, a confirmation, a promise.

As the last of the firework bursts into the sky, illuminating them like a bless, Ash and Eiji turn and run. The policeman might have shouted something, but they don't hear over the firework and their own spilled laughter. As they weave through the building alleyways of Japan with the police car light and siren chasing behind them, it is almost like they are back in the States on the run.

And when they travel to another place one day, they'll compare that experience to this day too. The common denominator is that they are together, running hand in hand with the other by their side, and in the end, that is all that matters to them.

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Thanks for reading! Please search up this fic on ao3 if you want to see Lena's art for the fic. It's gorgeous.


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